My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
