grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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