I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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