Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize