i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
