yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
