laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
