i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
