And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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