I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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