the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize