hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize