the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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