I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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