I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dear god my vagina.
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