What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
