THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
