I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
