i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You need a sexual gate keeper
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
