She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize