remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
