Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
