great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
