that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
