If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
