these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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