I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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