I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
