no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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