Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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