Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
