what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
