Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
