dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize