The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
