Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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