brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
