Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
