It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
