Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
