Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
