my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i was born a porn star she said
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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