CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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