I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize