My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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