Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he puts the penis in happiness.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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