How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize