I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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