I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
