Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
