quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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