seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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