i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think a kid would responsible me up
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
