bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
