Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize