I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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