After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize