I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
