You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
