Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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