Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
