you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
