you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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