Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
