and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
