Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
