If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
