So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
