oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
