i think i have herpe
just one?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
