I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
