would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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