bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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